Gay Twitter Roundup: Horny History, Queer Innovation and the Power of Jack Schlossberg Thirst

Gay Twitter is a reflection of the world at its most brilliant and unhinged. It's a community of people who can't help but comment on the latest news from their deeply specific perspective, live for sharing the strangest celebrity gossip, and have a visceral need to see a steady stream of thirst traps from celebs and gay locals alike. And just as we do in real life and the rest of our world, queer people on X (formerly Twitter) make the social media app a better, wilder, hornier, and more inventive experience. This roundup of the app's best moments showcase all of that, and so much more.

This week, the best of Gay Twitter includes a showcase of innovation: Phrases we'll never, ever forget (a televised reminder to "turn your cocks back one hour tonight," and the reason lesbians are asking each other if they "wanted to work with Kathryn Hahn.") and odes to some of the horniest moments in Twitter history. Have you ever seen a transmasc mermaid Jesus tree ornament? Have you held in your hands an empty pizza box with a delicious centerfold of a shirtless man? Have you thought about what the world (and by that we mean Gay Twitter) would look like if Eddie and Buck actually get together on longrunning firefighter show "9-1-1"?

Unfortunately, we must begin with the biggest news of the week: The elections.

But with the deeply horny and queer-powered energy of Gay Twitter, we're coming at it from a different angle than you've heard all week. We're not gonna do any deep dives into politics, or reactions to the results (other than the person whose friend cryptically texted them their feelings about seeing "Anora" in cinema at the exact same time the election results were announced), but we must bring up the erection –wait, the erection –wait, the... Erection. Yes. Exactly. We've got tweets about the political power in the public's thirst over Jack Schlossberg, a note that "Babygirl" actor Harris Dickinson is the next Harris we'll all be rooting for this year, and a fun reminder that "Homo sex" is always gonna be in.

Horny tweets:

There's so much beauty to appreciate in the world, and online: A stunning sunset. Luca Guadagnino's spectacularly gay use of the camera zoom in "Challengers." Omar Apollo coming online to explicitly confirm that he "b sucking dick fr." The universal truth that society will let men get away with making perplexing, unappetising food, if they are hot enough. The caption on this next post really hits the exact note we're going for. These four profound words say it all: "Jonathan Bailey body tea."

Making history:

No one does innovation like gay people online. We make history, we shape history, and we casually drop phrases that will shape the cultural landscape for years to come. We're talking about innovation both horny and genius, like using a picture of a delicious, piping hot man as a pizza box centerfold.

We're talking about behind-the-scenes sexual energy between the lesbian "Agatha All Along" actors inspiring a new phrase for sapphics to use as code for hooking up. We're talking about the contribution to art history that is the act of painting two homophobic dogs. We're talking about the power in the scandalous, hilarious act of reminding your local news station viewers to "turn their cocks back tonight." Yes, you read that correctly. We've even added a bonus "transmasc Jesus mermaid tree ornament," and if you don't get it... Well, we'll clock that tea when we brew it.

Before we wrap this up, we leave you with this super relevant, reusable sign that is applicable to more careers and many more cases than it was created for; rules for parenting toddlers, etiquette for interrupting your roommate and their situationship in the middle of the night, and boundaries in conversation with family members over the holidays among them.

If you are one of the brave, resilient viewers of the queer firefighter show in question, please do reach out with this important announcement should the (allegedly) soon-to-be canon gay event ever actually happen –because every single person online, regardless of whether they have ever watched this long-running show, is deeply invested in it at this point. Genuinely, if the gay love story comes to fruition as "9-1-1" fans have been hoping (frankly, for longer than is reasonable), this is an announcement that needs to be on the local and international news.